15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code
3'in housewares,....and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
10. While handling guns in the hunting department,ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from 'Mission Impossible'.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then
yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here."