Jokes ? ?

Anything not poker related.

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Warorinced
2 star member
Posts: 37
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 8:19 pm

great poker table joke

Postby Warorinced » Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:13 pm

Yougish guy around 23 years old is walking thru the park and sees a very old man sitting and crying on a park bench. The young guy sits and asks, "Excuse me Sir, are you ok?"

The old man says, "No, I'm not ok. Not ok at all."

Young guy asks, "What's wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Old man says, "Well, I'm 86 years old. I have a 26 year old wife who loves and adores me....cooks and cleans for me...and when I have the little blue pills we make love 6 times a day."

Young guys says, "Sounds pretty good to me. So why are you crying?"

Old guy says, "I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!"
Pher1976
3 star member
Posts: 89
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 2:56 am

Postby Pher1976 » Sun Nov 06, 2005 6:55 pm

lol thats a good one

Here's one:



Dog Gone Poker
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance.
"This is a very smart dog.", the man commented.

"Not so smart," said one of the players. "every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."  
:mrgreen:
Chammat
5 star member
Posts: 189
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 4:08 am

Postby Chammat » Fri Nov 11, 2005 5:23 pm

right, i dont get it lol.  :lol:
Pher1976
3 star member
Posts: 89
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 2:56 am

Postby Pher1976 » Sat Nov 19, 2005 4:39 pm

Divine Poker
There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says,
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

He ignores the voice.

Later in the day, he hears the voice again.
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

Again, he ignores the voice.

Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day.
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."

He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice.
He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas.
As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe."

He goes to The Horseshoe.

The voice says, "Put all your money into a World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry."

He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP.

He goes to his assigned tournament table.
The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt AsAd.

The voice says, "Go all in."

He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot.
Three players call.

The dealer lays down the flop which is 8h9h10h.

The voice says, "Damn."
Shoul1976
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2006 10:17 pm

hilarious

Postby Shoul1976 » Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:16 am

yep, this is a classic-  :lol:
Pher1976
3 star member
Posts: 89
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 2:56 am

Postby Pher1976 » Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:37 pm

Pack Up
A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin.

"Where the hell have you been?" she asked.

"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game."

"How did you manage to do that?"

"It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."
Nowhimed
1 star member
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2006 7:48 pm

very funny

Postby Nowhimed » Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:30 pm

I loved that joke, Very funny!


good luck
cydott
Buffecaper69
2 star member
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2006 10:31 pm

Postby Buffecaper69 » Sun Dec 11, 2005 8:51 pm

lol, the wsop one is a good one....sounds like absolute poker though
Pher1976
3 star member
Posts: 89
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 2:56 am

Postby Pher1976 » Sun Dec 18, 2005 4:41 am

A young man was in a poker room one day with his new girlfriend. It's their first date and everything is going well, barring the occasional period of silence. The girlfriend goes to "powder her nose" and while she is away, the young man spots somebody at another table that looks incredibly like Mike "Mad Genius" Caro. So, he pops over and approaches Mike.
"Excuse me," says the young man, "but you half look like Mike Caro. I don't suppose....."
"Well," interrupts Mike, "actually, I am Mike Caro."

Well, the young man is almost speechless, but does continue, "Look Mike, I think you're great. I've got all your books and videos and blah, blah, blah, etc......could you do me a favor?"

"What ever you want,"says Mike.

"Well, you see I'm at another table with my new girlfriend and it would really impress her if you would just come up to me and say, 'Hello Steve'."

"Sure, no problem." says Mike.

So Steve rushes back to his table and his girlfriend returns. A few moments later, over pops Mike to their table and goes up to Steve.

"Hi Steve, how you doing?" says Mike.

Steve looks up and says, "Oh, fuck off, Mike.
Nowhimed2
3 star member
Posts: 54
Joined: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:30 am

Postby Nowhimed2 » Tue Dec 27, 2005 11:40 pm

LOL that goes to show you never be a nice guy.


Stachyruk :twisted:
Extry1994
3 star member
Posts: 58
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 6:12 pm

Jokes ? ?

Postby Extry1994 » Sun Jan 15, 2006 6:04 pm

Hey Klem, if I sneek in to see your wife while your away; would that make us Kin?  Well, no, Jeb, I don't believe it would . . . but it would make us even.

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